When we reach out via text, email, social media or seek information through someone about the person we are trying to untangle from it can set us back for weeks. After reading articles and watching videos from the experts I learned how vital this can be. One thing I would not stop doing is looking the individual up. I kept it a secret. I hid the fact that I would look tirelessly for anything. After all, I shut down all of the other avenues but I couldn’t shut down Google. You know what I’m talking about. It’s tough. It felt like I had to sit on my own hands. Once you realize you aren’t implementing no contact correctly and to it’s truest form a sense of guilt comes over you. Don’t feel guilt or shame. It’s part of the process. They can almost feel that you are still searching. They have some sort of innate ability to know what you are going through… that you are still struggling. I think that’s why they reach out after months or even years. They know. If you are struggling right now it’s okay. It’s hard. I read work by Kim Saeed, Melanie Tonia Evans, Dr. Ramani and Suzanna Quintana which has helped me a lot. I’m not sure who is reading this today and if you are struggling but don’t give up the fight. It’s a battle but win the war. Think about the sick satisfaction they get every single time you reach out. Think about the pain and set back and sit through each minute before you move. Just make it minute by minute if you must. I can’t tell you all of the things and distractions you can do because you already know. What I can tell you is the pain is real. The aftermath is devastating. You aren’t crazy. You’re just recovering. The mind is a powerful thing. I’m writing today because I’m struggling. I’m just struggling.