Photo by Hello I’m Nick- Unsplash

A Call To Crisis

I was compelled to write this today after watching the video footage from the Petito and Laundrie call. This video has been shared and seen all over the world. My heart sank because after being choked, I fought back and slapped my abusive ex. He called 911 first, before I had the chance to make that call. How could I call when he had my phone? When the police arrived, they lured me outside. This, after talking to my ex for 45 minutes to hear his side of the story in our driveway. “Did you hit him? they asked. “Well, did you?” I responded, “Yes, but he was choking me and I …” “Turn around and place your hands behind your back.” They arrested me in my pajamas in front of my two little girls. On the way there he said, “I’m sorry but you admitted it so we had to take you.” When they released me I had to walk for miles because they said, “We don’t give criminals free rides.” They didn’t know about the years of abuse prior to this call but it wasn’t the first time that a call had been made from my home … from me. In the video you can see Laudrie laughing, chucking as he explains his side. During this time many officers gathered to discuss what to do next. “She is the primary aggressor” one said. They let them go their separate ways claiming they were in an “emotional crisis”. I heard them explaining the law and how people would react. Let’s flip over to Gabbi for a moment. She wasn’t laughing, she was disheveled, crying, sobbing, anxious, and scared. I heard her say the following words: stress, okay, I don’t know, grabbed, squeezed, upset, rough, and the list goes on. Maybe our laws need changed. If the police have any question, and are leaning into the law maybe we need a Call To Crisis Team. A team who knows the look-fors, the signs, the body language, the story of what could be moments, days, weeks, months, if not years of abuse- no matter what type. This is the first time I’ve told my story. It’s the first time because I felt ashamed. I am not ashamed anymore. Im speaking out for change. How can we respond to a call to crisis?